The hype has begun for the Turkey Bowl and this promises to be the best Thanksgiving celebration since the Pilgrims landing on Plymouth Rock. Today, we are a little more than a week away from the 2010 Turkey Bowl. As every year, the Turkey Bowl’s board of directors (Myself, and my underpaid interns) strive to make improvements from the previous season. This year, the participants will be playing for an unbelievable cause. All proceeds and donations will be going to the Children’s Tumor Foundation. CTF is a nonprofit medical foundation; dedicated to improving the health and well-being of individuals and families affected by neurofibromatosis. You have to ask yourself, is there a better way to be thankful on Thanksgiving then giving back to these families? We have already received generous donations from people across the United States. As the great Muhammad Ali once said, “Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”
The 2010 Nike Turkey Bowl is shaping up to be the most organized and attended game of the century. For 2010, we have improved our venue and sponsorship. We are playing at Denver University’s Barton Lacrosse Stadium. This gridiron provides the ultimate battlefield for the famous and infamous Civil War of Denver, the North versus the South epic grudge match that is more commonly known as the 2010 Edition of the Nike Turkey Bowl. As far as sponsorships, we have received many donations from generous people.
As current Tuna great Mike Kenevan says, “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” Just like any other Tuna event, drinking is encouraged. It is the holiday season, and we should do our best to drink and be merry. One of our sponsors HardNutrition.com will be supplying drinks of the non-alcoholic variety for the athletes and fans as well.
Every Turkey Bowl, pregame shots are taken (literally and figuratively). We had a chance to catch up with the South’s Head Coach Lynn Watwood “you do if I sang out of tune” at the Park Hill Driving Range again this year. He had no love for the North squad and even had his own Dennis Green moment, “Last year we destroyed the North team. This year will be no different and I vow victory. The North is who we thought they were. They are who we thought they were. And we let them off the hook! The North will be singing a different tune come Thanksgiving Day, I guarantee it! But if you want to crown them, then crown their ***. !”
Vic Lombardi, the esteemed and fabled coach, Founder, captain, quarterback, smack talker and defensive back of the North team when asked after last year’s demolishing at the hands of the South squad about the execution of his squad that day responded “As the great Tampa bay Coach john McKay said after his team went 0-145, “I am in favor of it!!”
Tuna legend, Tuna rules director, CU football great and former Green Bay Packer star and Director of College Scouting for the San Francisco 49ers Dave McCloughan has stated “to be honest with you there will be more talent in this game than in a UFL game or college game so I might as well show up and scout these boys. We are always looking for “Mike” backers and I just might find one at the Turkey Bowl.” McCloughan then looked at his notes and remarked “what number is Matt Russell wearing any way?”
Butkus Award winning linebacker and South Stalwart Matt Russell had this to say to the North team, “I decided this year to work out for at least the two weeks leading up to the game so I will not be a cripple until new Years like I was last year, and I will be there on Thanksgiving day for Children’s Tumor Foundation, the Fans and to crush the Lombardi’s and I am bringing Hell with me!!”
The weather report for Thursday is 61 degrees and sunny so you can’t ask for better conditions for the battle of the century. The North teams roster is still largely a mystery other than the fact that they will have a gaggle of Lombardi’s and adopted Lombardi’s playing such as former Broncos Reggie Rivers.
Here is the latest South Team Roster for the game:
1. Peter “Sports Center” Schaffer – the venerable captain of the south team. His quarterback skills parallel some of the greatest non-quarterbacks to play in the NFL such as Joe Kapp and Babe Parelli; his true strengths come from his vast collection of throwback jerseys actually game worn in the NFL and his ability to supply his team with receiver gloves. NFL Player most resembles – Billy Kilmer
2. Bill “the farmer in the“ Edell – this professional lacrosse star, assistant coach of the Denver Outlaws and TGA regular made his Turkey Bowl debut in 2008 and is still feeling the aches and pains from his series of misfortunes. He looks to redeem himself this year. NFL Player most resembles – Jeremy Shockey
3. Mark “Action” Jackson – the most famous of the Denver Broncos Three Amigos and the recipient of “the catch” from “the drive” in The AFC Championship Game in Cleveland Circa 1988 and the Turkey bowl all time leader in all purpose yards makes his come back with a vengeance. “He plays to win the game.” NFL player most resembles – Mark Jackson, Denver Broncos
4. Derek “The Wild Wild” West – this Tuna original and former CU football star and high draft choice of the Indianapolis Colts (or were the Colts High when they made him a draft choice?) will bring stature, presence size, and beers to the Tuna line. NFL player most resembles – Derek West – Indianapolis Colts.
5. Paul “Howard” Stern – the esteemed goaltender of the Tuna Ice Hockey team is also a Turkey Bowl original. His precise routes are matched by his exemplary preparation for the game and his immaculate planning. He is also responsible for always bringing and filling the famed Tuna “yellow bag” filled with beers for the event. NFL Player most resembles – Ken Dryden
6. Roger Wilson “and out” Hailing from Mississippi (Southern Miss – Golden Eagle). The Qb of the victorious 2009 edition of the South Squad in the Turkey Bowl. A heady cagy veteran with great pocket presence, play calling and a deceptive arm. NFL Player most resembles – George Blanda
7. Chad “the Reptile” Brown – This multiple time NFL Pro Bowl linebacker and CU legend made his Tuna Turkey Bowl debut in 2008 and scored the games rookie of the year award. In 2009 he won the MVP award. Sure he could wupp Tony Bosellis ass and Willie Roaf’s butt in the NFL but he had problems running around the large end of Reggie Rivers in 2009 and this year he vows to handle the vaunted Lombardi multiple option offense? NFL Player most resembles – Chad Brown
8. Geoff Bieging “or be late”– here is another Turkey bowl youngster, this former indoor lacrosse and TV star brings speed and hands to the game. He was the odds on favorite to win the Turkey Bowl Rookie of the year in 2008 but lost out to Chad Brown. NFL Player most resembles – Marvin Harrison
9. Lauren “Landow “Green” – The speed trainer to the stars and a tune golf veteran takes the field for his second time. He is legendary for teaching speed but can he run himself we shall see. NFL Player most resembles – Jack “they call me the assassin” Tatum.
10. “Toe” Blake Anderson - The man who made the miracle of Michigan possible looks to make 2010 his redemption year after pulling up with a ham string injury early in the 2008 game. His major contribution to the game was his fabulous wearing of his old man’s CU throw back jersey for the 1960’s. The commissioners have ruled due to his lack of play time in 2008 that 2010 still counts as his rookie season. NFL player most resembles – Josh Cribbs
11. Matt Russell “Crowe”– that’s right the gladiator himself in the flesh, Matt Russell of CU Fame, of Detroit Lions Fame, the winner of the prestigious Butkus Award as the best linebacker in all of the land while at CU and the current director of college scouting for your Denver Broncos, made his tuna turkey bowl debut for the South Squad in 2009 and has counted the days from last year to this year’s game in anticipation. NFL Star Most resembles – Greg Biekert.
12. Brett “Hull” Cullaton – this tuna hockey star who has played for the Canadian national hockey team and makes his tuna bowl debut in 2009. He still doesn’t realize we play 4 downs in the states. NFL Star Most resembles – Conrad Dobler
13. David Pratt “fall” the division 3 Lacrosse player of the year from the famous Nazareth college and hailing from the small town of Homer New York is a venerable hunter and will be playing safety hunting for wounded ducks thrown by North Quarterback Mario Lombardi. NFL Star Most resembles – Dan Pratt
14. Mark “Tony” Randall – that’s right, the infamous Mark Randall from NBA/Kansas/Chicago Bears and Cherry Creek High School lore and Nuggets basketball has indicated that he will bring his decrypted body out for his inaugural game. The tallest of all Tunas he will be a force to reckon with or at least to watch. NFL Star Most resembles – Mark Randall
15. Denise Plante- the Emmy Award winning radio on-air personality from KOSI 101 and 9 News’ Colorado and Company has decided to grace us with her presence on the field. Her dedication and off the field candor for the Turkey Bowl has not gone unnoticed, and we will see if it translates to the field. NFL Star Most resembles- Lynn Swann
16. Scott Petersen- the PGA Tour Professional and CU Legend will be making a Turkey Bowl appearance as well. The 6 foot 3 inch pride of Williston, North Dakota will be hoping to stretch the field and test the North deep! NFL Star Most resembles- Randy Moss
17. Steve “Lyle” Govett – The General manager of the Colorado Mammoth, former Professional Lacrosse Star and Canadian Native is a Turkey bowl regular. He can goon it up with the best of them and will do so on Thanksgiving day. NFL Player most resembles – Garo Yepremium
18. Trevor Tierney – The current assistant lacrosse coach at the University of Denver, a US World lacrosse team member, first team all-American, professional lacrosse player and recognized as one of the greatest lacrosse goalies of all time will be making his turkey bowl debut. He can stop shots with the best of them but can he stop the “stop and go?” NFL Star Most resembles – Barry Sanders
19. Mike Lansing – A major league baseball all star, a former red Sox , Rockies and Expos and a former option quarterback from his high school days makes his Tuna debut. NFL Star Most resembles – Turner Gill
20. Alfred Williams – The most recent edition to the College Football Hall of Fame, a Butkus award winner at CU and a multiple Pro Bowl selection of the Denver Broncos completes the South’s most impressive linebacking core. He will bring his spirit, his laughter and his sack ability to the game. NFL Star Most resembles – Alfred Williams